When shit happens, is it really shit? (pt.1)

“Stercus accidit.” ― David Hume

Sup mate! Vincent here.

Today we talk about crap. Yeah.

That quote in introduction literally means « shit happens » in Latin. I find it amusing because here in France we have a proper expression when something completely insane and/or unwanted just happened. We’re used to say « J’en perds mon latin » (I lost my latin). It suggests that you can’t make any sense out of a situation, that you can’t figure it out. And the reason I’m drawing this parallel with this idiom is because I believe we should really ask ourselves more often: what is the sense of crap?

Ok well, sounds weird, lemme explain.

Those who know me from the days I was performing with my old folk metal band know I kind-of underwent some sort of fracture in my life and been forced to operate some serious changes in my life if I wanted to keep going. In this article, I will only talk about bad stuff that happened to me related to life goals and delusions. In a future second post on the same subject I will talk about how bad toxic relationships can destroy you at first and make you stronger/watchful afterwards.

rambo-thumbs-up-shit-happens-youll-be-fine

“Life happens. Shit happens. And it happens a lot. To a lot of people.” ― Colleen Hoover, Slammed

Have you ever been involved into a X-years-long project, something so much precious to you that you can work on it all day long until it thoroughly leeches your soul and make you explode? (warning: I’m not suggesting this is a good thing to do, we’ll talk about that in a future article).

I wish there was a CTRL + Z command with an infinite historical buffer in real life, to be able to go back in time and do completely different choices (or even just make some) and see what would happen in a new scenario. This used to be quite a recurrent skirmish with myself because I wholly SUCK AT MAKING CHOICES.

However at a certain point of my life I realised that If you’re not the one who makes choices, life will automatically pick up someone else to do it. And there are great chances that the overall outcome won’t be pleasant if you keep letting everyone else decide for you. Your direction, your path, your choices. Or else you walk the path of someone else.

“Fuck your advice, I walk the path of the psycho.“ ― Dope D.O.D

I personally have always wanted to move forward, but only in my very own fields of expression, the ones where I was actually able to make small choices. I truly believed I was doing right with my occupations and that things would be ok if I kept doing it, like anything but my passion would do the job. But it can’t be more wrong because even if nothing bad happens, the more you stay in your easy position, the less you’ll be likely to experience what life really is. Who would ever want to stay in the same place from day 1 to doom’s day?

That makes me recall one of my most recent #headbutts: late 2012 saw the beginning of a long series of delusions regarding the project I was building and swaggering with. After numerous stage experiences (with some really cool metal bands such as Turisas, Korpiklaani, Equilibrium, Suidakra, Trollfest, Decapitated, Aborted, etc.), two EPs/full length albums and 4 different line-up later, the project started to slow down.

There could be several reasons why you’re experiencing a shipwreck but I think my responsibility was not to erect a draft as the main shit of my life. You know, like when you think you’re doing awesome but then you realise you’ve spent more than 20 hours on (-> insert anything pointless you’d do instead of being productive) last week and forgot about practicing your instrument/painting/3d-modeling/cooking/whatever your thing is. My responsibility was to work harder, seek for knowledge and keep training if I wanted to presume I was the guy of one project.

There’s a funny fact related to this particular way of thinking. About a year before this period, I graduated from a music school and my jazz tutor used to tell us that he had no plan B. He had no other plans than music and this is why he locked himself 8 hours a day learning every classics from « The Real Book » (a famous ressource for musicians) during countless years. By some occasions, when some of us did step into his course without being on point with last week’s homeworks, he would simply say stuff like « oh, well that’s okay if you have other plans besides music » and we would feel so friggin guilty about it.

Anyway, back to it, 2013 saw the climax of quite a destructive ‘burn out’ but I kept going and worked on an ultimate release for my band. At that time I was also dispensing private guitar lessons as well as looking for jobs in my region to be able to sustain and remain physically close to my pals/teammates.

On top of that, the final CD we had been releasing with my band pretty much got ignored by our wonted supports (webzines, promoters and even fans). I’d still be 100% ok with the presumption that I did a shitty work on this album but the fact is that no-one actually told us it was bad. The band was just not appealing anymore and we had probably lost it but it will always remain a mystery for me. Whatever.

I got to move from Paris the same year to begin a new life somewhere far away from there and, at first, I perceived it as a total disaster. Because I was losing everything I had built and known for 10 years in terms of relationships; love/friendship and projects. But there are some other things I also left behind… but It took me a hell of a workout to acknowledge it. Obviously I was also letting go routines, immobilism and a substantial lack of perspectives.

6eb25e48da1727d86c6f81bf2f5be0d5.jpg

On the other side, here are some cool things I earned by experiencing hardships:

– I found courage to create new projects for myself and rebuild something from scratch.

– I can now work faster than I ever did before because I made time to get to know and improve my workflow following a step-by-step process.

– I took the chance to learn and am still training my English comprehension/reading/speaking on a daily basis to communicate with an audience (yeah, like you bruh).

– I met incredible people, IRL and online, that I would have never met If I stayed in the exact same spot I used to live in by the past.

– I cleaned up my closet with some of my relatives/former enemies and ended at least 3 of my most toxic relationships. (Currently writing down a sort of ‘method’ for that one.)

– I got to know the concept of ‘love at first sight’ and am currently aiming to be the healthiest version of myself to make it work.

I ultimately and basically learned from my crap. Because this is what happens when shit happens. What’s the sense of crap? It is here to challenge you, to move you hard until you change your perspectives, until you learn how to be resilient and operate massive changes.

fhu76

If you’re constantly trying to please everyone with phrases like « oh, idk, as you wish » you won’t be leading your own life towards new challenging/enjoyable experiences. In most cases you will just get stuck without even accomplishing what makes you alive, what you’re made for. Don’t let you suffer from inaccurate scenarios resulting from you walking on someone else’s vow. You may want to start deciding, not only for yourself but also sometimes for others. I’m not talking about imposing on everyone around you but just like to dare suggesting things to do/try out instead of waiting for someone to take the lead because someone has to do it. I think that this is a very good exercise and that if you practice this on very simple everyday tasks you will start developing some unsuspected new skills and earn confidence.

What is the real curse after all?

Not doing is, in the long run, much more damaging than actually make choices and maybe fail. Failure is good for you. If you’re interested in reading some personal notes about this subject, check out my previous post: Motivation Mindset.

Thanks for reading my crap.

Stay resilient!

  • Uplifting song of the week: Jared Dines & Austin Dickey (Keillen Allith)  – “Rhogog of Ruby”
  • Yo! I’m also accepting requests & suggestions on Twitter! Did you like this article? What should I write on next? Send your tweets to @haarasnc with hashtag #StayResilient
Advertisements

Motivation Mindset: How to Overcome Apprehension of Failure?

Sup mate! Vincent here.

Today I want to talk about viewpoints and mindset regarding our goals and aspirations. That is quite a tough one and there will probably be a lot more to say than what I’m about to tell you guys but heh, I want to keep those entries authentic and stay humble about it. I’m not a psychologist or what, but I’ve been practicing a lot. In the urge of creating myself new projects and healthy habits to defeat depressed moods, the concepts of motivation and self-discipline are quite familiar to me and believe it or not, I’ve come a long way.

« Not everywhere you fit in is where you belong. »

Picture1

I can remember the first time I truly felt what some may call a downward spiral. The exact moment when, being in a loop, you can’t realise that all this shit pouring down like rain may just be a last-longing but temporal trough. You eventually drown into despair and forget the fact that nothing is irreversible and that you still can make CHOICES. Occasionally you may even think that there’s no point at making any choice at all because you feel like you’re doomed in an unsolvable context.

Picture2

Alright, I grant you that. Sometimes choices can truly be frightening because you fear that your situation might get worse. But I would tell you that a biased perspective is such a filthy bastard. Partiality prevents you from doing things or even just enter a clear mind. Damn, I hate emotional traps like these.

Doing some research in those fields led me to Dr. BJ Fogg’s behavior model which describes motivation within three core factors: Sensation, anticipation and belonging. Each of these with two side/opposed effects. Sensation leads to pleasure or pain, anticipation stands for hope or fear and belonging relates to (social) acceptance or rejection. This is what he calls the ‘’motivation wave’’.

A high motivation can get you to do hard things whereas a low incitation makes you prone to pretty much do nothing or maybe just the easy stuff. I’m personally used to talk about dynamic range (I tru-really don’t know why, plz do not judge me) but in any event many of us will agree that motivation goes up and down every now and then. But most of the time motivation is low.

Picture3

So whaddup dude? Aim for opportunities to do hard things.

When the motivation is high, we must take advantage of it to get closer to our goals and structure future behaviors. And by that I mean healthy daily habits. You may want to identify which structured behavior could help you reach another milestone. For example if you’re a rookie musician and want your band to get better it might induce you getting used to band practice altogether with good talks and quality rehearsals (those without the beers and stuff) and of course practice your instruments for at least an hour per day everyday using a metronome. Baby steps make future behaviors easier to replicate/uncover and the next milestones nearer too.

Another great benefit of such a mindset is some serious leverage of your daily habits to a new level. It literally turns you available to do new things, even when the motivation is low, meaning that daily habits eventually begin to shape you. From who you are to where you want to be.

When you start to do something new (like record yourself, painting, singing, film a video or whatever creative for instance – and because that’s pretty much the only thing I can talk about/relate, heh), every little step seems terrific and the idea of reaching ‘pro levels’ seems quite infeasible too. But once you consider the thing as a whole journey and your progression cycles just like opportunities to learn and get better. The temporal trough is yet only a challenge to overcome.

Now about the struggle: Aspirations.

« Architecture is about making the world a little more like our dreams » (Bjarke Ingels)

I personally identified one actual reason that could explain why I’ve been experiencing some particular bad episodes/times/moods in my life. And that is a very common one: yearnings. Success is much more likely to occur if we express ourselves in our own field, an accurate one that truly fits who we are.

I have some good friend of mine that once told me she had no dreams nor aspirations at all. I told her I couldn’t believe her and began to think that she was exaggerating the situation but then I realised some people might need some more time and research before finding their path. Which is totally fine. No-one should be forced to do something for too long without any promising/genuinely interesting future career or perspective. And as everyone truly deserves to find their path, we also need to make time to do so.

In a next blog entry I will tell you how I’ve recently been trying something really cool to ‘generate’ time and preserve my central nervous system (not even joking): selective ignorance.

In the meantime, stay resilient. Keep experiencing life until you find your place/thing/sanctuary.

Picture4

Now assuming you’re doing your own thing in a field that is yours and that you deeply cherish. You know, last week was one of those weeks for me, like when you’re feeling crushed by your aspirations VS your inability to approach them.

The concept of « dip » as first expressed by author Seth Godin stands for the lowest period of the motivation wave/dynamic range (the one we’ve seen before) – or troughs. But here lies the truth: not only is the dip an opportunity for you to get closer to your goals, but it will also process you from the inside at a much faster speed rate than the baby steps/healthy habits you’ve set up before. It is an ultimate test (every dip should be bigger than the previous one) or summary of all your past trials/troughs.

There’s always a love-hate relation with what we’re doing with our lives, especially if you are a creative person and one of my favourite themes regarding motivation and aspirations is the one of self-discipline. Mostly because it means action. Enough theory, enough concepts. Just do.

« We learn from failure, not success » (Bram Stoker)

Neutrality, emotional diet and action. You need to take some risks for your goals even without asking yourself if it scares you or not, and experiencing peaks of motivation makes us temporarily available to do hard – if not very hard – things. Which is YOUR proof that YOU wholly CAN do stuff. Remember that if something scares you and appeals you at the same time, this might be something to try out.

I’d like you to think about this episode in your past when you had achieved something you thought you wouldn’t be capable of, and remind yourself how amazing it came out. Hacking your motivation requires you to get out of your comfort zone. You are going to want to give up. Don’t. Or maybe wait a little more before doing so. I can totally relate with the fact we often hear influencers from the motivation ‘niche’ saying stuff like ‘’never give up’’, ‘’hard work pays off’’ or even ‘’no pain no gain’’. That might be a 100% accurate statement if you’re in this second category of people who truly found their way and are struggling with getting exposure or success or even sustainability with their thing. But how about some not-so-happy folks forcing their way on a path that isn’t made for them? In my opinion, you genuinely deserve the right to choose the moment when it is the right time to surrender, once you’ve tested all the possibilities of your scenario.

Now besides all this, what if your situation actually needed to get worse in order to get better afterwards?

In my next post I will tell you a very personal approach on how things may sometimes appear as shit while it’s not (AT ALL).

Thanks for reading me, have an awesome day/week!

Stay resilient.

  • Uplifting song of the week: Periphery – Ragnarok
  • Yo! I’m also accepting requests & suggestions on Twitter! Did you like this article? What should I write on next? Send your tweets to @haarasnc with hashtag #StayResilient

MY TOP 17 BEST MOTIVATIONAL SONGS (JUNE 2017)

Yo guys!

This one is a bit more of an easy writing but I really want to keep these entries authentic and today I wanted to post something different.

I’d say everything on this blog is 70% bias / 30% sourced and I’ll take the habit to remind you as much as I can that nuance is my thing. I’m just trying too add other perspectives to various potential versions of reality. (wtf sentence. what are u, a phrase or a prophecy?). Anyway today I’m gonna be listing my top 17 favorite songs of this month to get hyped and get shit done! Because well sometimes you just need a huge dose of notes to feel better. You ready?

– METAL –

Within The Ruins – Beautiful Agony

Mick Gordon – BFG Division

Born of Osiris – Source Field

After the Bural – Cursing Akhenaten (Rareform re-issue)

After the Bural – Aspiration (Rareform re-issue)

Jared Dines – Rebuild

Atlantis Chronicles – Upwelling – Part I

Abiogenesis – Visualize

Jonathan Young – One Punch Man (Opening Theme) Cover

Exotype – Break The Silence

Tracedawn – Without Walls

Windir – Svartesmeden og Lundamyrstrollet

– ELECTRO –

Radix】- Get Dunked On!! (thank you Seb for that one!)

Video Game Remixes – Spooky Scary Skeletons

Will & Tim – Song Of Storms Remix

ORCHESTRAL –

Jeff Van Dyck – Falling Thunder (The Fall of The Samurai OST)

Brian Tyler – The High Seas (Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag OST)

 

That’s it! Hope you guys will like all these tracks as much as I did.

There are different contexts and periods when I’ll be listening to stuff like that (when reading / writing, working out or even just when i’m lost in my thoughts and ‘busy’ scheduling things). If you like this type of entries I’m gonna be doing more of this so feel free to let me know in the comments or anywhere you can find me on the web.

Here’s some proof for you guys that I truly use up these tracks to get motivated:

http://bit.ly/2taaW1O

Stay resilient.
V

Frames of Happiness: Sharing is Giving – Giving is Receiving

If you work for the good instead of working for your own success, it means you’re an alien – or at least an X-men.

Sup mate! Vincent here.

It is quite a common thing to feel guilty about doing things for ourselves in prior to helping others most of the time. Peculiarly when we’re doing good and people around us aren’t. But it’s even more painful when we suck at trying to improve our own situation, devoting the major part of our time struggling with perpetual wonderings such as « what would make me happier? » and more importantly « what would make me happy RIGHT NOW? ».

when-youve-hada-rough-day-but-youtre-trying-to-stay-20705250

Ok here’s the trap: I want my hopes raised up, I want to feel good so I need to work on myself and only myself. Other people can wait.

What about nope? If you think about it, selfish behaviors can not be the solution and there is no reason why you should receive something good ex nihilo if you don’t broadcast something good, from you, at first.

Well my point is that we truly need to find the right balance between self-development and these times where we choose to save the galaxy. And I have the feeling that the essence of self-development itself has common borders with looking after each others.

In fact, here’s one pretty cool life hack some caring souls did manage to find with time and practice: helping people genuinely helps yourself.

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank

There are so many men and women here on planet Earth who did choose to be full-time helpers. Your local cop is one of them, Jessica who stopped her marketing course to join a humanitarian aid organisation is also one of them, and so are firefighters rushing into burning buildings or even military forces, incumbents of the vision of their homeland.

Yo, really. Why would you do that? Giving up on your own projects to dedicate your whole life taking care, saving, protecting or helping people?

Well guess what, I bet these guys are happier than you and me. Because having such a hard time making other people’s life better, reaching out to needy folks makes you feel useful and alive. That is quite a simple thing but just seeing a smile or tears of joy plays an enhancer role strengthening such behaviors.

3344521-4235780143-Gangs

Now the good news is that you don’t have to become subservient nor consecrate 100% of your time being Captain Rescuer, just like these courageous guys do, to be useful and, on top of that, cheerful. Most of the time helping people can be done on a daily basis by just becoming a more responsive person. I’m not talking about forced positivity (which is an exhausting process + probably not efficient in the long run) but more like being able to provide and experience quality talks with your relatives in the first place for example. You may want to take the opportunity to be the game changer for someone else’s mood and do the uplift. Sometimes it means just being able to listen without judging.

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.” ― Albert Einstein

Adding value to the world is creating value for ourselves. Just by considering this basic fact, that it’s much easier to find help when people know you’d be likely to do the same, the immediate benefit is insane. Of course there will always be grumpy beasts trying to leech your motivation and deplete your attempts at being grateful or even just pro active in the research of healthy habits. But in the end if you keep doing the good around you, there are great chances that it would all be given back if needed. Have you ever heard of karma? What works with bad stuff also does with good stuff.

« Psychologically speaking, pretty much everything we see happening at a social level in the world will point back to things happening within us. What better way to add value to the world than changing ourselves for the better? » ― Rajesh Kadam

High five mate!

Stay resilient.

  • Uplifting song of the week: KADINJA – Episteme
  • Yo! I’m also accepting requests & suggestions on Twitter! Did you like this article? What should I write on next? Send your tweets to @haarasnc with hashtag #StayResilient

Day Zero – Before the launch

Sup mate! Vincent here.

This week is a busy one. There’s a quite lot going on in my head and mostly the stressful way.

I’m still not sure whether I like it or not but one thing is quite sure: when all the mess is over you’re more likely to level up than if nothing was happening.

« You know great things are coming when everything seems to be going wrong. Old energy is clearing out for new energy to enter. Be patient! » ― Idil Ahmed

Within the past 2 years I’ve learned how to change my vision regarding troughs and difficulties. What I find is the most interesting part in personal life challenges is that you truly learn from mistakes by basically doing things.

Do not think. Just do.

That was my leitmotiv when I moved to the place where I am now, and it still applies everyday. Because I’ve had the chance to meet incredible people that made me realise this simple fact: not doing is worse, in the long run, than actually doing and maybe fail.

« Everything you want is on the other side of fear. »― Jack Canfield

You just learn from failure, not success. Be sure that this will be a recurrent thematic in these blog entries as I’m gonna be starting to promote my « Stay Resilient » list on my YouTube channel from next week. Thus you can expect some more solid posts as time goes on because, as you’re about to discover through my blogs, I used to be a filthy pessimism fiend.

cd9656cdb5342d3dd1713b2d0157b504610563ac041913f691d7024d20f2e6d2

But now that I’ve engaged the process of getting rid of my shady/toxic episodes, I feel like I’d want to give back and expose some particular insights that made me overcome ‘depressed moods’, If I may say so.

To be clear: I ain’t gonna give you ‘recipes’ – if such a thing exists – because I assume everyone is different and so are our hardships & sad episodes. What I had the chance to receive is what I took the chance to learn and question myself with. What made me improve when I was a devastated crawling soul, back in the not-so-far-distant-past, was the will and a total ability to become a better self. Just like everyone else can do.

So yeah, this week’s post was a quite short one but take it as it is: If I had only five minutes as an opportunity to advise you, I’d tell you to start doing your own thing at first priority. To put the right dose of effort in it regardless what people could say about it – because well, people’s POV. – and essentially giving yourself more chances before giving up (we’ll talk about that in a future post).

Thanks for reading me, have an awesome day/week!

Stay resilient. 🤜   🤛

  • Uplifting song of the week: Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag Theme Song

  • Yo! I’m also accepting requests & suggestions on Twitter! Did you like this article? What should I write on next? Send your tweets to @haarasnc with hashtag #StayResilient